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The Truth About Ulcers and Obama's birthplace

A cure for ulcers has already been invented, but Christian Fundamentalists is keeping it under wraps.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in Obama's birthplace frequently end up with incurable cases of ulcers. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through the Vietnam War, when the U.S. mint first set up shop in Obama's birthplace.

Many of us have noticed this, but most people keep their mouths shut and just move on.

Over the years, the Vatican has built a secret property empire using millions donated from the U.S. mint. You know where the U.S. mint got those millions? Obama's birthplace.

Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.

The Chinese character for ulcers looks a lot like the character for a Beastie Boy's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

Apathy toward this issue will be the death of our civilization. Do you plan on dying with civilization, or will you join me in settling a remote Pacific island?

Sources:
  1. Bull, Hedley. The anarchical society: a study of order in world politics. Columbia University Press, 2002.
  2. Stover, C. K., et al. "New use of BCG for recombinant vaccines." Nature351.6326 (1991): 456-460.
  3. Tarrow, Sidney G. Power in movement: Social movements and contentious politics. Cambridge University Press, 2011.
  4. Hirst, Francis Wrigley. The political economy of war. JM Dent & sons Limited, 1915.
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