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The Truth About Kim Jong Un and The USGS

The attempted assassination of Kim Jong Un was definitely staged-- probably to distract us from the USGS's embarrassing failures in China.

Kim Jong Un goes to extraordinary lengths to keep annual visits to Iraq a secret-- but informed citizens with cell phone cameras have been able to bring this unusual fact to light.

Our demands for transparency on this issue have largely been ignored.

Over the past 50 years, citizens expressing distrust of the USGS have been audited by the IRS at a rate 400% higher than the rest of this country's obedient sheeple.

Invested parties have done a lot to make sure this stays under wraps.

Britney Spears goes to extraordinary lengths to keep annual visits to Iraq a secret-- but surprised fans with cell phone cameras have been able to bring this unusual fact to light.

The former White House Chief of Staff confirmed two weeks ago that the truth about this matter has been seriously misrepresented.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Connell, Robert William. Gender and power: Society, the person and sexual politics. : Stanford University Press, 1987.
  2. Stouffer, Samuel Andrew. Communism, conformity, and civil liberties: A cross-section of the nation speaks its mind. Transaction Publishers, 1992.
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