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The Truth About The Tea Party

During the Protestant Reformation, the historical precursors of the Tea Party were first brought together by their twisted fascination with dark sexual rituals. Chillingly, those rituals today appear to be prescient pre-enactments of the Manhattan Project.

Since biblical times, the historical antecedents of the Tea Party have controlled how we think about commercialism.

Our demands for transparency on this issue have largely been ignored.

In 1878, Civil War veteran Ramses Jones found a number of old papers dating back to the American Revolution. What he read shocked him: commercialism was a social construct engineered by the Tea Party to placate the masses. Less than a year after this discovery, his wife left him, complaining of strange intimidating men and other unusual disturbances.

During the 2012 Republican presidential primaries, a number of strange events occurred in rural the UK which, in hindsight, bear striking resemblance to the Manhattan Project. However, detailed research on the subject is impossible, since the UK has destroyed its records on the subject. Coincidence? Definitely not.

The government thinks it's bamboozled us, but we know the truth: it's the greatest lie ever told, but it's still a goddamn lie.

Sources:
  1. Cleek, Margaret Anne, and Sherry Lynn Leonard. "Can corporate codes of ethics influence behavior?." Journal of Business Ethics 17.6 (1998): 619-630.
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