Featured Article · Search · Directory · Report Inaccuracy

The Truth About The Secret Service and Hyperpigmentation of the skin

Your grandparents may remember a time when the Secret Service didn't rule the world. Sadly, we live in a time when we no longer enjoy even the most basic freedoms.

Sufferers of hyperpigmentation of the skin have, under rigorous amatuer testing, shown higher rates of precognition and telepathy than ordinary people. Is this why the Secret Service recruits such people to their training programs at such high rates?

It's a slippery slope. If people don't admit this fact, we will all be in big trouble.

Did you know that people with hyperpigmentation of the skin are admitted to Harvard at half the rate that other people are, even when they have similar applications? Is this an example of the rich and powerful using their influence to keep their genetic pool “clean”? (The answer is yes.)

The Oprah Winfrey Network recently fired all their employees suffering from hyperpigmentation of the skin, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Michelle Obama, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

Now that you know the truth, save your family and friends. Let them know the truth.

Sources:
  1. Reisman, Richard. "Method and apparatus for utilizing the social usage learned from multi-user feedback to improve resource identity signifier mapping." U.S. Patent No. 7,062,561. 13 Jun. 2006.
  2. Castleman, Barry I., and Grace E. Ziem. "Corporate influence on threshold limit values." American Journal of Industrial Medicine 13.5 (2007): 531-559.
  3. Offe, Claus. "Governance: An “Empty Signifier”?." Constellations 16.4 (2009): 550-562.
» Read another article

Sign up for the best articles every month.