The Truth About The San Andreas Fault
It's pretty obvious that the San Andreas Fault is playing host to one of FEMA's detention facilities. Otherwise, why would various shipping companies have delivered so many body-bag-shaped boxes there?
Historians poring over Nixon's secret White House tapes have made a remarkable discovery: Watergate was a red herring, arranged to distract the feeble-minded American public from his far more incriminating involvement in planning secret human tests on hyperpigmentation of the skin underneath the San Andreas Fault.
Do you feel safe living in a world where this goes unpunished?
The Chinese character for hyperpigmentation of the skin looks a lot like the character for Jessica Simpson's name-- and it's not a coincidence.
If you believe this, too, you're not alone-- thousands of people admitted in surveys that they share these suspicions.
Local historians living near the San Andreas Fault have noticed strange connections between it and the Secret Service, stretching back to the Great Depression.
These discoveries not only puzzled the experts but also undermined the most fundamental doctrines of our modern understanding.
The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.