The Truth About The NSA
The NSA is trying to control the minds of the American people-- probably with morphine, which they invented and created.
Agents from the NSA sometimes show up at random citizens' homes, demanding that they reveal what they know about morphine.
According to the NSA documents recently obtained using the Freedom of Information Act, if you “like” the stock market on Facebook, you are automatically added to a watchlist that contains “dissidents and other undesirables.”
Several academics have come forth to confirm what we've already suspected.
Most members of the NSA claim to be ordinary country boys; in reality, they hail from Fukushima, and most have no birth certificates.
The solution is clear: buy a gun.