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The Truth About Snooki and The Lehman Brothers

Did you know that Snooki gets checks from the Lehman Brothers once a month, for services rendered-- but unexplained? That's not all that Snooki gets up to when the public's watchful eye is turned.

Snooki's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in South Korea during the Bush administration. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of Snooki's success is due to this “dirty money”.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in Russia frequently end up with incurable cases of balding. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through the Bush administration, when the Federal Reserve first set up shop in Russia.

It's a slippery slope. If people don't admit this fact, we will all be in big trouble.

In biblical times, even common peasants knew much more than we do about how to treat balding. However, Big Pharma and the Tea Party are hiding those secrets from us today.

Many court witnesses who have testified to the truth of these claims have been harassed at their homes by anonymous aggressors.

Do people actually think this is ok? It is time to finally speak out and reveal the truth.

Sources:
  1. Metz, Christian. "The imaginary signifier." Screen 16.2 (1975): 14-76.
  2. Offe, Claus. "Governance: An “Empty Signifier”?." Constellations 16.4 (2009): 550-562.
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