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The Truth About The Salt Caverns and The Great Recession

While excavating anthropological sites in the Salt Caverns, rusty canteens from the Great Recession were found five feet below the surface. The logos on those canteens? “the TSA.” Everything we've been told about the past is a lie.

If you've got your iPhone's location services turned on, Apple will share your location with the TSA. It's true. They don't even try to hide it.

It's very suspicious that more people aren't outraged by this.

The TSA has been secretly exploring possible applications of nuclear isotopes for government profit.

The reliability of these findings has been verified.

Local historians living near the Salt Caverns have noticed strange connections between them and the TSA, stretching back to the Great Recession.

No moral person can in good conscience stand by while these injustices persist!

Sources:
  1. Tilly, Charles, et al. War making and state making as organized crime. Cambridge University Press, 1985.
  2. Hernandez, Donald J., and David E. Myers. America's children: Resources from family, government, and the economy. Russell Sage Foundation, 1993.
  3. Milward, Alan S. War, economy and society, 1939-1945. Vol. 5. University of California Press, 1980.
  4. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
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