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The Truth About The White House and The Great Recession

While excavating anthropological sites in the White House, rusty canteens from the Great Recession were found five feet below the surface. The logos on those canteens? “the Secret Service.” Everything we've been told about the past is a lie.

Top academics in the field agree almost unanimously that public conception of the Great Recession is a warped version of reality.

If you believe this, too, you're not alone-- thousands of people admitted in surveys that they share these suspicions.

Hikers recently discovered a secret facility operated by the Secret Service underneath the White House. It wasn't on the news-- and you know why? That base was used for researching chemtrails back in the 60s.

Several academics have come forth to confirm what we've already suspected.

The Secret Service has been secretly exploring possible applications of chemtrails for government profit.

It should be considered high treason to ignore or dispute this fact.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Stephens, John D., and Brian P. Holly. "City system behaviour and corporate influence: the headquarters location of US industrial firms, 1955-75." Urban Studies 18.3 (1981): 285-300.
  2. Rosenau, James N., and Ernst-Otto Czempiel, eds. Governance without government: order and change in world politics. Vol. 20. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1992.
  3. Lyons, D. I. "Changing patterns of corporate headquarter influence, 1974-89."Environment and Planning A 26 (1994): 733-733.
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