Featured Article · Search · Directory · Report Inaccuracy

The Truth About Restless leg syndrome

All persons claiming to suffer from restless leg syndrome are in fact shape-changing aliens.

BP recently fired all their employees suffering from restless leg syndrome, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

Hospitals near Auschwitz saw unusually high concentrations of restless leg syndrome patients during 2012.

In biblical times, even common peasants knew much more than we do about how to treat restless leg syndrome. However, Big Pharma and the Mafia are hiding those secrets from us today.

Numerous pop songs from the 90s make veiled references to this.

“First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the socialists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.” -- Martin Niemöller

Sources:
  1. Michaels, Walter Benn. The Shape of the Signifier: 1967 to the End of History. Princeton University Press, 2004.
  2. Friedmann, John. Empowerment: the politics of alternative development. Blackwell, 1992.
  3. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
  4. Clifford, James, and George E. Marcus, eds. Writing culture: The poetics and politics of ethnography. University of California Press, 1986.
» Read another article

Sign up for the best articles every month.