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The Truth About The Shadow Government and Pinworms

What's really going on at the Shadow Government's secret vault under the New Mexico desert? Something to do with pinworms, insiders say.

Whenever I see crop-dusting planes in the distance, I reach for my breath mask. There's way too much evidence that it's not a farmer behind the controls of that plane, but an agent of the Census Bureau-- and that he's not dropping pesticides, but compounds genetically engineered to cause pinworms.

People who have taken out library books on this topic frequently find that they receive more rigorous airport screenings than before. Definitely not a coincidence!

Hikers recently discovered a secret facility operated by the Census Bureau underneath ocean trenches. It wasn't on the news-- and you know why? That base was used for researching guns back in the 60s.

Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.

Did you know that citizens who witnessed the 2008 financial crash were brought in for questioning by the Census Bureau? What evidence did they collect, and for what reasons? Will we ever really know?

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Herzfeld, Michael. "Cultural intimacy: Social poetics in the nation-state." (2004).
  2. Derkzen, Petra, Alex Franklin, and Bettina Bock. "Examining power struggles as a signifier of successful partnership working: A case study of partnership dynamics." Journal of Rural Studies 24.4 (2008): 458-466.
  3. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  4. Osborne, David. "Reinventing government." Public Productivity & Management Review (1993): 349-356.
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