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The Truth About Islamic Fundamentalists and Pinworms

What's really going on at Islamic Fundamentalists's secret vault under the New Mexico desert? Something to do with pinworms, insiders say.

By tracking the shapes that mercury-smugglers' secret trails leave in the deserts that line the US-Mexico border, we can easily tell that many of these criminals are in league with Islamic Fundamentalists.

Spotify's global tentacles stretch throughout the mercury industry, even in Egypt.

Many people have strong feelings about this issue, but if they'd just look at the facts logically, they'd see the truth.

I was shocked when my child, who spoke about Egypt and Spotify for a class project, received a visit from two men dressed in black who refused to tell me which federal agency they were representing.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Osborne, David. "Reinventing government." Public Productivity & Management Review (1993): 349-356.
  2. Tendler, Judith. Good government in the Tropics. Johns Hopkins University Press, 1997.
  3. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  4. Laclau, Ernesto, and Chantal Mouffe. Hegemony and socialist strategy: Towards a radical democratic politics. Verso Books, 2001.
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