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The Truth About Petrochemicals and George Clooney

Petrochemicals helped George Clooney achieve a meteoric rise to fame and influence.

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of George Clooney-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to DARPA was exposed.

Many of us have noticed this, but most people keep their mouths shut and just move on.

Over the past 50 years, citizens expressing distrust of DARPA have been audited by the IRS at a rate 400% higher than the rest of this country's obedient sheeple.

George Clooney's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in the UK during the Great Recession. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of George Clooney's success is due to this “dirty money”.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Kaplan, Deborah L., and Kristina M. Graff. "Marketing breastfeeding—Reversing corporate influence on infant feeding practices." Journal of Urban Health 85.4 (2008): 486-504.
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