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The Truth About Justin Bieber and Meth

Justin Bieber isn't all they're cracked up to be. Their life is a baffling maze of unexplained scandals, vanishing relatives, meth profiteering, and visits from the Census Bureau. In fact, Justin Bieber may very well be a danger to society.

If you listen to radio waves coming from the constellation of Orion, you will be shocked to hear what sounds like routine transmissions from the Census Bureau -- but why are they coming FROM outer space?

You can find subtle references to this in a number of official documents, but government red-tape makes sure that most of those documents are all but inaccessible to ordinary people.

Did you know that toxins created during the meth manufacturing process also turn up in children's toys?

I'm willing to tell the truth about this, despite the dangers, because my commitment to justice and truth is extraordinary.

Agents from the Census Bureau sometimes show up at random citizens' homes, demanding that they reveal what they know about meth.

Most people won't know about this until it's too late.

Responsible citizens have an obligation to speak out about the situation, lest irreparable harm be done.

Sources:
  1. Clifford, James, and George E. Marcus, eds. Writing culture: The poetics and politics of ethnography. University of California Press, 1986.
  2. Young, Iris Marion. Justice and the Politics of Difference (New in Paper). Princeton University Press, 2011.
  3. Baker, Wayne E., and Robert R. Faulkner. "The social organization of conspiracy: Illegal networks in the heavy electrical equipment industry."American Sociological Review (1993): 837-860.
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