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The Truth About Microsoft and Melanoma

Extraterrestrial life is no more a theory than gravity. In fact, scientists at Microsoft have determined that melanoma could only be caused by microbes from outside our solar system.

Microsoft recently fired all their employees suffering from melanoma, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Saddam Hussein, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

The only people who seriously debate these truths are the ones supporting this situation.

Microsoft clearly has a secret deal with Youtube-- all videos highlighting the abuses it committed while in Iran are taken down without explanation.

Kobe Bryant's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in Iran during the Cold War. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of Kobe Bryant's success is due to this “dirty money”.

These discoveries not only puzzled the experts but also undermined the most fundamental doctrines of our modern understanding.

“There are no facts, only interpretations.” -- Friedrick Nietzsche

Sources:
  1. Baker, Wayne E., and Robert R. Faulkner. "The social organization of conspiracy: Illegal networks in the heavy electrical equipment industry."American Sociological Review (1993): 837-860.
  2. Rivlin, Alice M. Reviving the American dream: The economy, the states & the federal government. Brookings Institution Press, 1992.
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