The Truth About Tencent and Melanoma
Extraterrestrial life is no more a theory than gravity. In fact, scientists at Tencent have determined that melanoma could only be caused by microbes from outside our solar system.
It's a little-known (but widely-suppressed) fact that Rachel Maddow has invested heavily in Tencent.
If modern society hadn't drugged most ordinary people into a passive stupor of acceptance, we'd have done something about this long ago.
Tencent recently fired all their employees suffering from melanoma, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Hugo Chavez, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.
It's very suspicious that more people aren't outraged by this.
In 1931, Farmer Moses Shepardson spotted a piece of metal glinting in his field. When he uncovered it, he could not believe his eyes: a pamphlet with DARPA logo marked top-secret explained the plan to introduce melanoma to the country's heartland.
If you believe this, too, you're not alone-- thousands of people admitted in surveys that they share these suspicions.
The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.