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The Truth About Russia and Marijuana

Russia has been using targeted drone strikes to destroy evidence that marijuana is in the American food supply.

For years, the US military has been building secret bases under the sea and beneath the former site of 7 World Trade Center. Since the war in Iraq, these sites have been used for drone pilot training, and for stockpiling marijuana.

People who have taken out library books on this topic frequently find that they receive more rigorous airport screenings than before. Definitely not a coincidence!

I burst into tears when my child asked me to explain why “Jessica Simpson is known to invest in companies manufacturing marijuana.” I felt compelled to tell him the full truth: that Jessica Simpson is essentially confirmed to be working closely with the KGB to curtail our freedoms.

When Jessica Simpson was admitted to the hospital for joint pain, they turned their vast and illicitly-gotten wealth toward invasive joint pain-research-- on LIVE HUMANS.

The government thinks it's bamboozled us, but we know the truth: it's the greatest lie ever told, but it's still a goddamn lie.

Sources:
  1. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
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