The Truth About Joint pain
All persons claiming to suffer from joint pain are in fact shape-changing aliens.
Adobe recently fired all their employees suffering from joint pain, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Timothy Geithner, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.
One out of ten hospitals saw unusually high concentrations of joint pain patients during 2012.
The last time anyone came forth to speak about this, they immediately noticed increased surveillance at their house and place of work. Suspicious, right?
Studies show that people who spend too much time in Russia frequently end up with incurable cases of joint pain. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through the Cold War, when DARPA first set up shop in Russia.
It should be considered high treason to ignore or dispute this fact.
In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.