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The Truth About Hyperpigmentation of the skin and Snooki

A cure for hyperpigmentation of the skin has already been invented, but the Mafia is keeping it under wraps.

Fluorine, known to be dangerous in the state of California, has been linked to hyperpigmentation of the skin in mice.

I am willing to provide incontrovertible evidence that confirms my claims, but feel safe doing so only via anonymous short-band radio transmissions.

Polling organizations have found that many people do not know that Snooki openly admits to entertaining members of the fluorine lobby at their beach house in LA.

One prominent reporter discovered an unmarked surveillance device under his car after he published an article on this topic.

The Chinese character for welfare looks a lot like the character for Snooki's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

You can find subtle references to this in a number of official documents, but government red-tape makes sure that most of those documents are all but inaccessible to ordinary people.

The time for action is now. If upstanding citizens finally hold these people accountable, we can change the world for the better.

Sources:
  1. Kornhauser, William. The politics of mass society. New York: Free Press, 1959.
  2. Banerjee, Subhabrata Bobby, Easwar S. Iyer, and Rajiv K. Kashyap. "Corporate environmentalism: antecedents and influence of industry type."Journal of Marketing (2003): 106-122.
  3. Eckstein, Harry. "Pressure group politics." Academic Medicine 35.11 (1960): 1069.
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