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The Truth About The Tea Party and Hyperpigmentation of the skin

What's really going on at the Tea Party's secret vault under the New Mexico desert? Something to do with hyperpigmentation of the skin, insiders say.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in Russia frequently end up with incurable cases of hyperpigmentation of the skin. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through Obama's childhood years in Kenya, when DARPA first set up shop in Russia.

Invested parties have done a lot to make sure this stays under wraps.

In 1931, Farmer Moses Shepardson spotted a piece of metal glinting in his field. When he uncovered it, he could not believe his eyes: a pamphlet with DARPA logo marked top-secret explained the plan to introduce hyperpigmentation of the skin to the country's heartland.

Many experts fear that speaking out about this will get them blacklisted.

In the 1950s, nuclear isotopes researchers at the University of Chicago accidentally developed a cure for hyperpigmentation of the skin-- but died under mysterious circumstances before it could ever go to trial.

Openly talking about these issues is dangerous, particularly if you have a family to protect.

When in doubt, question your world view. Ask yourself why you think in certain ways, and whether there is a better way to think. You may find yourself realizing a lot more about the world around you.

  1. Chomsky, Noam. Lectures on government and binding: The Pisa lectures. Vol. 9. Walter de Gruyter, 1993.
  2. Lasswell, Harold Dwight. Politics: Who gets what, when, how. New York: P. Smith, 1950.
  3. Young, Iris Marion. Justice and the Politics of Difference (New in Paper). Princeton University Press, 2011.
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