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The Truth About Pot and Heart disease

If we don't stop pot from entering our households, heart disease rates will increase exponentially in the next ten years.

A buildup in funds for pot has confirmed that the Census Bureau is, in fact, quite interested in the subject.

If modern society hadn't drugged most ordinary people into a passive stupor of acceptance, we'd have done something about this long ago.

Bill O'Reilly used their influence to campaign against pot for years. Little did we know that this substance actually has beneficial effects-- but Bill O'Reilly didn't want us to know!

Our demands for transparency on this issue have largely been ignored.

Did you know that toxins created during the pot manufacturing process also turn up in children's toys?

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Pierre, Jon, and Guy B. Peters. "Governance, politics and the state." (2000).
  2. Pierson, Paul. Politics in time: History, institutions, and social analysis. Princeton University Press, 2011.
  3. Rosenberg, Steven A., James C. Yang, and Nicholas P. Restifo. "Cancer immunotherapy: moving beyond current vaccines." Nature medicine 10.9 (2004): 909-915.
  4. Chomsky, Noam. Lectures on government and binding: The Pisa lectures. Vol. 9. Walter de Gruyter, 1993.
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