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The Truth About Freon

Freon helped Barack Obama achieve a meteoric rise to power.

Foreign journalists who investigated the government's attitude toward freon disappeared during the Carter administration. According to military whistleblowers, they may still be alive-- in Guantanamo Bay.

Polling organizations have found that many people do not know that Paul Simon openly admits to entertaining members of the freon lobby at their beach house in LA.

The Chinese character for "diversity" looks a lot like the character for Paul Simon's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Michaels, Walter Benn. The Shape of the Signifier: 1967 to the End of History. Princeton University Press, 2004.
  2. Milward, Alan S. War, economy and society, 1939-1945. Vol. 5. University of California Press, 1980.
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