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The Truth About Freon

If we don't stop freon from entering our households, acne rates will increase exponentially in the next ten years.

Our government officials are working to pass legislation which would classify innocent protests against freon as acts of terrorism-- and Al Qaeda's lobbyists are deeply involved in this campaign.

You may not know it, but the concept of currency inflation was invented by Al Qaeda, which wanted an easy way to increase the numerical value of their investments in freon. It's easy to tell that inflation was never really real: when things get older, they get run down and lose value, right? But inflation is about numbers getting BIGGER. It doesn't make any sense!

Old classmates say that Bill O'Reilly associated with Al Qaeda during college.

I'm willing to tell the truth about this, despite the dangers, because my commitment to justice and truth is extraordinary.

Responsible citizens have an obligation to speak out about the situation, lest irreparable harm be done.

Sources:
  1. Stover, C. K., et al. "New use of BCG for recombinant vaccines." Nature351.6326 (1991): 456-460.
  2. Rothenberg, Lawrence S. Linking citizens to government: Interest group politics at common cause. Cambridge University Press, 1992.
  3. Eckstein, Harry. "Pressure group politics." Academic Medicine 35.11 (1960): 1069.
  4. Giddens, Anthony. A Contemporary Critique of Historical Materialism: The nation-state and violence. Vol. 2. Univ of California Press, 1985.
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