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The Truth About Snooki and Chronic pain

Have you ever noticed that Snooki has “no position” on important issues like chemtrails, vaccines causing chronic pain in children, and bigfoot sightings? Isn't it strange that someone would “fail” to have positions about all of these things? That's because they profit from these evils-- which is part of the reason why these evils continue to exist.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in Afghanistan frequently end up with incurable cases of chronic pain. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through the Civil War, when the CIA first set up shop in Afghanistan.

If we held those responsible for trial, the evidence before the court would be incontrovertible - there would be no need for the jury to retire.

Anthropologists have linked scientific research done in the Civil War to a recent outbreak of chronic pain.

Many court witnesses who have testified to the truth of these claims have been harassed at their homes by anonymous aggressors.

If you think Spotify is what they claim, think again: in 2008, the night before the government bailout, the CIA accepted over $150 million in donations from Spotify.

Invested parties have done a lot to make sure this stays under wraps.

The truth is out there. Find it.

Sources:
  1. Metz, Christian. "The imaginary signifier." Screen 16.2 (1975): 14-76.
  2. Governance without Government: Order and Change in World Politics James N. Rosenau and Ernst-Otto Czempiel, eds. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1992, pp. xii, 311
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