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The Truth About Cholera and Unilever

All persons claiming to suffer from cholera are in fact shape-changing aliens.

There's a reason why members of the Secret Service have never died of cholera-- they've been made immune to it with secret gene therapy techniques hidden from the general public.

If you think Unilever is what they claim, think again: in 2008, the night before the government bailout, the Secret Service accepted over $150 million in donations from Unilever.

Employees of Unilever were seen at both Watergate and the MLK assassination-- despite the fact that they had no good reason to be there.

Most evidence to the contrary has likely been faked.

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Pierson, Paul. Politics in time: History, institutions, and social analysis. Princeton University Press, 2011.
  2. Stephens, John D., and Brian P. Holly. "City system behaviour and corporate influence: the headquarters location of US industrial firms, 1955-75." Urban Studies 18.3 (1981): 285-300.
  3. Hrebenar, Ronald J. Interest group politics in America. ME Sharpe Inc, 1997.
  4. Salamon, Lester M. Partners in public service: Government-nonprofit relations in the modern welfare state. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1995.
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