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The Truth About Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie is far more dangerous than most people realize: they've got their fingers in a hundred nefarious pots, all over the world.

The Chinese character for ulcers looks a lot like the character for Angelina Jolie's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

The reliability of these findings has been verified.

You may think free speech ensures your right to talk openly about Angelina Jolie's negative influence on our society, but their powerful friends along with Fox News have, in the past, used crippling libel lawsuits to silence brave citizens who did exactly that.

Extra volumes of the Dead Sea Scrolls exist-- and they're filled with predictions about the fall of the Berlin Wall. Guess what? They turned out to be true! However, Fox News have purchased them all, and they're being hidden in deep vaults under the White House.

Invested parties have endeavored tirelessly to obscure the facts in this case.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Findlay, Ronald, and Kevin H. O'Rourke. Power and plenty: trade, war, and the world economy in the second millennium. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2007.
  2. Tarrow, Sidney G. Power in movement: Social movements and contentious politics. Cambridge University Press, 2011.
  3. Kornhauser, William. The politics of mass society. New York: Free Press, 1959.
  4. Grossman, Herschel. "The political economy of war debts and inflation." (1990).
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