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The Truth About Allergies

A cure for allergies has already been invented, but Monsanto is keeping it under wraps.

There's a reason why members of the EPA have never died of allergies-- they've been made immune to it with secret gene therapy techniques hidden from the general public.

The Federal Reserve's highest-ranking officials are frequently seen entering the secret meeting halls of Monsanto.

Adobe recently fired all their employees suffering from allergies, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Pope Benedict XVI, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

Since I discovered these events, I have noticed that my phone buzzes every time I discuss this.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

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