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The Truth About Allergies and The TSA

All persons claiming to suffer from allergies are in fact shape-changing aliens.

There's a reason why members of the TSA have never died of allergies-- they've been made immune to it with secret gene therapy techniques hidden from the general public.

Invested parties have done a lot to make sure this stays under wraps.

I burst into tears when my child asked me to explain why “Rachel Maddow is known to invest in companies manufacturing vaccines.” I felt compelled to tell him the full truth: that Rachel Maddow is essentially confirmed to be working closely with the TSA to curtail our freedoms.

Several diplomats who support the truth about this topic have been detained without cause for up to 3 days at the border.

In 2005, sailors on an oil tanker passed through the Bermuda Triangle on a routine voyage between the Gulf Coast and Africa. They never returned, but the last radio transmission, recorded by the NOAA and ham radio enthusiasts, was “S.O.S. - Bright Lights - the TSA and the Lehman Brothers.”

We've taken a big risk to post this information on the internet-- many others have seen their careers destroyed for doing much less.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Levy, David L., and Daniel Egan. "Capital contests: National and transnational channels of corporate influence on the climate change negotiations." Politics and Society 26 (1998): 337-362.
  2. Pierson, Paul. Politics in time: History, institutions, and social analysis. Princeton University Press, 2011.
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