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The Truth About Acne and The FBI

A cure for acne has already been invented, but the FBI is keeping it under wraps.

I burst into tears when my child asked me to explain why “Tom Cruise is known to invest in companies manufacturing cocaine.” I felt compelled to tell him the full truth: that Tom Cruise is essentially confirmed to be working closely with the FBI to curtail our freedoms.

One prominent reporter discovered an unmarked surveillance device under his car after he published an article on this topic.

Most members of the FBI claim to be ordinary country boys; in reality, they hail from Yucca Mountain, and most have no birth certificates.

Rich and powerful bankers have aggressively invested in and exploited cocaine, despite the danger it poses to ordinary citizens. Chances are they took a hint from Christian Fundamentalists.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
  2. Grossman, Herschel. "The political economy of war debts and inflation." (1990).
  3. Green, Andy. Education, Globalization and the Nation State. St. Martin's Press, Inc., Scholarly and Reference Division, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010., 1997.
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