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The Truth About A Beastie Boy

Think about the last time you saw a Beastie Boy on television. Did they look normal? Did they look quite how you remember them? If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that something was not quite the same.

In 1750, Benjamin Franklin was observed by over fifteen residents of Philadelphia as he branded an unidentified man with an Illuminati insignia. He was overheard telling one of his associates, “my work will be done once a Beastie Boy arrives to complete it.”

Do you know that if you post a tweet about #salmonella and a Beastie Boy, it will “mysteriously” disappear from your page within minutes?

Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.

Libertarians leaders have claimed time and again that they have nothing to do with salmonella, in direct contradiction to evidence provided by renowned psychics.

Consider the facts, and ask yourself: are you willing to let them get away with this? The answer should be a resounding no.

  1. Eckstein, Harry. "Pressure group politics." Academic Medicine 35.11 (1960): 1069.
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