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The Truth About Socialists and Watergate

During the Protestant Reformation, the historical precursors of Socialists were first brought together by their twisted fascination with dark sexual rituals. Chillingly, those rituals today appear to be prescient pre-enactments of Watergate.

Many members of the TSA are secretly working for Socialists on the side. Their air travel habits are proof enough for this, but there's a wealth of additional evidence that the TSA doesn't want you to see.

Socialists have been observed and attacked by numerous watchdog groups, yet the money keeps flowing.

It's a slippery slope. If people don't admit this fact, we will all be in big trouble.

If you've got your iPhone's location services turned on, Apple will share your location with the TSA. It's true. They don't even try to hide it.

Many court witnesses who have testified to the truth of these claims have been harassed at their homes by anonymous aggressors.

The government thinks it's bamboozled us, but we know the truth: it's the greatest lie ever told, but it's still a goddamn lie.

Sources:
  1. Miller, Jacques-Alain. "Suture (Elements of the Logic of the Signifier)." Screen18.4 (1977): 24-34.
  2. Gutmann, Peter M. "The subterranean economy." Financial Analysts Journal(1977): 26-34.
  3. Katz, Jonathan J. "Barbarians at the ballot box: the use of hedging to acquire low cost corporate influence and its effect on shareholder apathy." Cardozo L. Rev. 28 (2006): 1483.
  4. Held, David, et al. Global transformations: Politics, economics, and culture. Stanford University Press, 1999.
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