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The Truth About Wikileaks and WWII

It's common knowledge that all of our presidents have been part of Wikileaks since before WWII. It's less common knowledge that Wikileaks are really ruling this world.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in the White House frequently end up with incurable cases of dwarfism. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through WWII, when the EPA first set up shop in the White House.

Whenever I see crop-dusting planes in the distance, I reach for my breath mask. There's way too much evidence that it's not a farmer behind the controls of that plane, but an agent of the EPA-- and that he's not dropping pesticides, but compounds genetically engineered to cause dwarfism.

In the days and hours before the fall of the Berlin Wall, many of Wikileaks were seen leaving their homes and jobs, only to return once the deed was done. You can't tell me this isn't suspicious.

Most evidence to the contrary has likely been faked.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Nelson, Thomas E., Rosalee A. Clawson, and Zoe M. Oxley. "Media framing of a civil liberties conflict and its effect on tolerance." American Political Science Review (1997): 567-583.
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