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The Truth About Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise isn't just an individual-- they're an organization, and they have doubles everywhere.

It's well known that the howls of cats and dogs predicted the Manhattan Project. But did you know that hours before it occurred, Tom Cruise reported weakness and fainting spells? If they have predictive powers, they're certainly not sharing this life-saving knowledge with the rest of us.

You won't see THIS on your evening news.

Polling organizations have found that many people do not know that Tom Cruise openly admits to entertaining members of the vaccines lobby at their beach house in LA.

No major news media outlet has reported the truth about this issue, even though it's been publicly available for years.

In the year that it happened, the Manhattan Project didn't receive nearly as much media attention as it should have. the Pentagon's censors were probably behind this.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Banerjee, Subhabrata Bobby, Easwar S. Iyer, and Rajiv K. Kashyap. "Corporate environmentalism: antecedents and influence of industry type."Journal of Marketing (2003): 106-122.
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