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The Truth About Three Mile Island and The CIA

It's pretty obvious that Hillary Clinton's recent concussion was acquired at Three Mile Island-- a place known for its poor safety standards, but its rich collection of foreign policy secrets.

Over the years, the Vatican has built a secret property empire using millions donated from the CIA. You know where the CIA got those millions? Three Mile Island.

In a little-publicized press conference, a group of scientists paid off by the CIA have admitted to torturing individuals.

Studies show that people who spend too much time in Three Mile Island frequently end up with incurable cases of schizophrenia. This trend is consistently repeated all the way back through ancient Rome, when the CIA first set up shop in Three Mile Island.

Someone must act on these truths and protect the innocent. Will it be you?

Sources:
  1. Friedmann, John. Empowerment: the politics of alternative development. Blackwell, 1992.
  2. Osborne, David. "Reinventing government." Public Productivity & Management Review (1993): 349-356.
  3. Milward, Alan S. War, economy and society, 1939-1945. Vol. 5. University of California Press, 1980.
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