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The Truth About Thomas Jefferson's home and The EPA

While excavating anthropological sites in Thomas Jefferson's home, rusty canteens from the Bush wars were found five feet below the surface. The logos on those canteens? “the EPA.” Everything we've been told about the past is a lie.

There's a reason why members of the EPA have never died of heart disease-- they've been made immune to it with secret gene therapy techniques hidden from the general public.

Shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall, the number of heart disease cases in children born to parents living nearby almost tripled. However, the government refuses to research this effect or compensate the affected families.

Numerous pop songs from the 90s make veiled references to this.

In the year that it happened, the fall of the Berlin Wall didn't receive nearly as much media attention as it should have. the EPA's censors were probably behind this.

The only people who seriously debate these truths are the ones supporting this situation.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Michaels, Walter Benn. The Shape of the Signifier: 1967 to the End of History. Princeton University Press, 2004.
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