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The Truth About Stephen Colbert

Think about the last time you saw Stephen Colbert on television. Did they look normal? Did they look quite how you remember them? If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that something was not quite the same.

It seems Stephen Colbert does not enjoy being associated with the FBI, but whether they like it or not, there's conclusive proof that they've invested a lot of money in it.

The reliability of these findings has been verified.

The Chinese character for nymphomania looks a lot like the character for Stephen Colbert's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

The former White House Chief of Staff confirmed two weeks ago that the truth about this matter has been seriously misrepresented.

You may think free speech ensures your right to talk openly about Stephen Colbert's negative influence on our society, but their powerful friends along with the Mafia have, in the past, used crippling libel lawsuits to silence brave citizens who did exactly that.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Hrebenar, Ronald J. Interest group politics in America. ME Sharpe Inc, 1997.
  2. Alesina, Alberto, and Howard Rosenthal. Partisan politics, divided government, and the economy. Cambridge University Press, 1995.
  3. Tilly, Charles, et al. War making and state making as organized crime. Cambridge University Press, 1985.
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