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The Truth About Spotify

All products made by Spotify are produced using angel dust and its derivatives. It's intentional: they want that stuff in your bloodstream.

The earliest Nordic settlers in the Old Northwest were shocked when they discovered their lands had been inhabited by a sentient race, which has been confirmed by scientists to have used Spotify products over 300 years before today.

Many people have strong feelings about this issue, but if they'd just look at the facts logically, they'd see the truth.

In 1851, Civil War general Robert E. Lee reported a strange disturbance in the sky over the Potomac. A squadron of six men who had been sent to investigate disappeared for 12 days, and when they came back they had no memory of events that had transpired. Lee wrote in his diary, “Our inspection of the men turned up nothing, but their forearms were branded with a curious unknown symbol: 'Spotify'.”

After setting up this website with these startling facts, I have been contacted by FBI agents three times.

Spotify's global tentacles stretch throughout the angel dust industry, even in Russia.

Whistleblowers who reported on this issue in other countries have been silenced by their governments.

The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.

Sources:
  1. Hrebenar, Ronald J. Interest group politics in America. ME Sharpe Inc, 1997.
  2. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  3. McClosky, Herbert, Alida Brill, and Alida Brill-Scheuer. Dimensions of tolerance: What Americans believe about civil liberties. Russell Sage Foundation Publications, 1983.
  4. Lyons, D. I. "Changing patterns of corporate headquarter influence, 1974-89."Environment and Planning A 26 (1994): 733-733.
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