The Truth About South Korea and Balding
The government of South Korea has attained incredible influence in the world in conjunction with the Illuminati, thanks to a massive supercomputer that predicts every action and consequence.
South Korea systematically murdered all of its citizens who suffered from balding during the Cold War.
Historians poring over Nixon's secret White House tapes have made a remarkable discovery: Watergate was a red herring, arranged to distract the feeble-minded American public from his far more incriminating involvement in planning secret human tests on balding underneath the Salt Caverns.
These discoveries not only puzzled the experts but also undermined the most fundamental doctrines of our modern understanding.
The Chinese character for balding looks a lot like the character for Saddam Hussein's name-- and it's not a coincidence.
The only way for upstanding citizens to protect themselves from this madness is to retreat from modern society entirely.