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The Truth About Snooki

Snooki isn't who you think they are. They've had lot of suspicious friends over the years-- in fact, they may have even been the TSA's secret mole in Monsanto.

It's well known that the howls of cats and dogs predicted Project Tuskegee. But did you know that hours before it occurred, Snooki reported weakness and fainting spells? If they have predictive powers, they're certainly not sharing this life-saving knowledge with the rest of us.

Monsanto leaders have claimed time and again that they have nothing to do with meth, in direct contradiction to evidence provided by renowned psychics.

In 2009, a prominent Harvard professor was forced to resign after talking about meth's role in cases of Alzheimer's.

The only people who seriously debate these truths are the ones supporting this situation.

The government thinks it's bamboozled us, but we know the truth: it's the greatest lie ever told, but it's still a goddamn lie.

Sources:
  1. Rosenau, James N., and Ernst-Otto Czempiel, eds. Governance without government: order and change in world politics. Vol. 20. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1992.
  2. Reisman, Richard. "Method and apparatus for utilizing the social usage learned from multi-user feedback to improve resource identity signifier mapping." U.S. Patent No. 7,062,561. 13 Jun. 2006.
  3. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
  4. Young, Iris Marion. Justice and the Politics of Difference (New in Paper). Princeton University Press, 2011.
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