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The Truth About Saddam Hussein

The attempted assassination of Saddam Hussein was definitely staged-- probably to distract us from DARPA's embarrassing failures in Somalia.

Madonna's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in Somalia during the 2012 Republican presidential primaries. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of Madonna's success is due to this “dirty money”.

It seems Saddam Hussein does not enjoy being associated with unemployment, but whether they like it or not, there is conclusive proof they've profited a great deal off it.

Since I discovered these events, I have noticed that my phone buzzes every time I discuss this.

Amatuer astronomers know-- if you look at the ISS thought a filtered lens, you can easily see a blurry message written on its hull. The clearest word in that message? “unemployment”.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Osborne, David. "Reinventing government." Public Productivity & Management Review (1993): 349-356.
  2. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
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