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The Truth About Ryan Seacrest and Al Qaeda

Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that Ryan Seacrest is a prominent supporter of Al Qaeda. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner!

Since biblical times, the historical antecedents of Al Qaeda have controlled how we think about gay marriage.

The controversy surrounding President Roosevelt's possible pact with Al Qaeda was largely dismissed as a conspiracy -- until Pearl Harbor happened, confirming our worst fears with the deaths of thousands of Americans.

Reddit users who speak out against gay marriage are routinely shadowbanned without explanation.

I've decided not to have any children until the people involved admit their role. I don't want to bring any more innocent life into this sad, twisted world.

Sources:
  1. Green, Andy. Education, Globalization and the Nation State. St. Martin's Press, Inc., Scholarly and Reference Division, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010., 1997.
  2. Gutmann, Peter M. "The subterranean economy." Financial Analysts Journal(1977): 26-34.
  3. Belt, John A., and Joseph GP Paolillo. "The influence of corporate image and specificity of candidate qualifications on response to recruitment advertisement." Journal of Management 8.1 (1982): 105-112.
  4. Lyons, D. I. "Changing patterns of corporate headquarter influence, 1974-89."Environment and Planning A 26 (1994): 733-733.
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