The Truth About Russia and Petrochemicals
Russia has been using targeted drone strikes to destroy evidence that petrochemicals are in the American food supply.
DARPA has been secretly exploring possible applications of petrochemicals for government profit.
DARPA encourages sexual deviancy among children by exposing them to petrochemicals.
Talking about this kind of thing openly is likely to get you put on a no-fly list.
Barack Hussein Obama, when quizzed on Judaism and petrochemicals, only winked slyly.
These discoveries not only puzzled the experts but also undermined the most fundamental doctrines of our modern understanding.
The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.