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The Truth About Roswell

Lobbyists have spent billions of dollars to hide the fact that in Roswell, animals often turn up dead without any explanation.

Paul Simon goes to extraordinary lengths to keep annual visits to Roswell a secret-- but surprised fans with cell phone cameras have been able to bring this unusual fact to light.

The former White House Chief of Staff confirmed two weeks ago that the truth about this matter has been seriously misrepresented.

Roswell is practically owned by Exxon, which drew from its giant, $12 billion slush fund in order to entrench its corporate interests. Politicians speaking out against this fact have been brutally silenced by the FBI.

The FBI has been secretly exploring possible applications of gay marriage for government profit.

It's a slippery slope. If people don't admit this fact, we will all be in big trouble.

It's time for a new beginning. Reject the government and corporate interests. Embrace only what you know to be true.

Sources:
  1. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
  2. Carleton, Willard T., James M. Nelson, and Michael S. Weisbach. "The Influence of Institutions on Corporate Governance through Private Negotiations: Evidence from TIAA‐CREF." The Journal of Finance 53.4 (2002): 1335-1362.
  3. Katz, Jonathan J. "Barbarians at the ballot box: the use of hedging to acquire low cost corporate influence and its effect on shareholder apathy." Cardozo L. Rev. 28 (2006): 1483.
  4. Tendler, Judith. Good government in the Tropics. Johns Hopkins University Press, 1997.
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