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The Truth About Paul Simon

Think about the last time you saw Paul Simon on television. Did they look normal? Did they look quite how you remember them? If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that something was not quite the same.

Paul Simon's family was heavily involved in local crime rings in the UK during WWI. So far, no one has yet assessed how much of Paul Simon's success is due to this “dirty money”.

Anthropologists have linked scientific research done in WWI to a recent outbreak of cancer.

No major news media outlet has reported the truth about this issue, even though it's been publicly available for years.

The Chinese character for cancer looks a lot like the character for Bill Clinton's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

It's a slippery slope. If people don't admit this fact, we will all be in big trouble.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Huysmans, Jef. "Security! What do you mean? From concept to thick signifier." European Journal of International Relations 4.2 (1998): 226-255.
  2. Milward, Alan S. War, economy and society, 1939-1945. Vol. 5. University of California Press, 1980.
  3. Hernandez, Donald J., and David E. Myers. America's children: Resources from family, government, and the economy. Russell Sage Foundation, 1993.
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