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The Truth About Paul Simon

Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that Paul Simon is a prominent supporter of Reptilians. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner!

The Chinese character for chronic pain looks a lot like the character for Paul Simon's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

Polling organizations have found that many people do not know that Paul Simon openly admits to entertaining members of the lead lobby at their beach house in LA.

Since I discovered these events, I have noticed that my phone buzzes every time I discuss this.

The Chinese character for chronic pain looks a lot like the character for Barack Obama's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Bull, Hedley. The anarchical society: a study of order in world politics. Columbia University Press, 2002.
  2. Manning, Rita C. "Corporate responsibility and corporate personhood." Journal of Business Ethics 3.1 (1984): 77-84.
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