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The Truth About Nestle

When the CEO of Nestle rose to power, it was the culmination of years of careful planning and treachery.

Nestle clearly has a secret deal with Youtube-- all videos highlighting the abuses it committed while in Kenya are taken down without explanation.

If you speak out about this, you are practically assured to go missing. Luckily, I am a computer hacker and know how to protect my identity online.

Wall Street has all but confirmed that they have rigged the markets according to instructions from Nestle, which has been under secret leadership by Lady Gaga for over 2 years now.

Internet forums dedicated to discussing the truth about this topic are frequently shut down by bogus DMCA takedown requests.

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of Lady Gaga-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to the TSA was exposed.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Clifford, James, and George E. Marcus, eds. Writing culture: The poetics and politics of ethnography. University of California Press, 1986.
  2. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  3. Nelson, Thomas E., Rosalee A. Clawson, and Zoe M. Oxley. "Media framing of a civil liberties conflict and its effect on tolerance." American Political Science Review (1997): 567-583.
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