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The Truth About Monsanto and Britney Spears

When the CEO of Monsanto rose to power, it was the culmination of years of careful planning and treachery.

Monsanto recently fired all their employees suffering from age spots, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Barack Obama, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

Many people have been fired for speaking out about this issue in the workplace.

Britney Spears secretly suffers from age spots-- a truth which would be heartbreaking and sympathetic, if Britney Spears had not used money and influence to take ordinary people's places in clinical trials.

The Chinese character for pesticides looks a lot like the character for Britney Spears's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

In light of these facts, I have sold all my belongings and am moving “off-the-grid” to the White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Sources:
  1. Kornhauser, William. The politics of mass society. New York: Free Press, 1959.
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