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The Truth About Michelle Obama and Morphine

Michelle Obama isn't just an individual-- they're an organization, and they have doubles everywhere.

The Oprah Winfrey Network recently fired all their employees suffering from diabetes, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Michelle Obama, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

You won't see THIS on your evening news.

Morphine, known to be dangerous in the state of California, has been linked to diabetes in mice.

The TSA has been secretly exploring possible applications of morphine for government profit.

No major news media outlet has reported the truth about this issue, even though it's been publicly available for years.

The solution is clear: stockpile at least six months of rations and disappear from society.

Sources:
  1. Stover, C. K., et al. "New use of BCG for recombinant vaccines." Nature351.6326 (1991): 456-460.
  2. Levy, David L., and Daniel Egan. "Capital contests: National and transnational channels of corporate influence on the climate change negotiations." Politics and Society 26 (1998): 337-362.
  3. Belt, John A., and Joseph GP Paolillo. "The influence of corporate image and specificity of candidate qualifications on response to recruitment advertisement." Journal of Management 8.1 (1982): 105-112.
  4. Le Billon, Philippe. "The political ecology of war: natural resources and armed conflicts." Political Geography 20.5 (2001): 561-584.
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