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The Truth About Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Think about the last time you saw Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on television. Did they look normal? Did they look quite how you remember them? If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that something was not quite the same.

Only when Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was admitted to the hospital for Celiac's disease did Osama bin Laden’s descendants begin investing in a cure.

You won't see THIS on your evening news.

Facebook recently fired all their employees suffering from Celiac's disease, in a clear breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, given their generous donations to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, it's no surprise that they were never punished for this.

A prominent news anchor, who asked to remain anonymous, discovered he was being covertly photographed after he uncovered this issue.

Historians poring over Nixon's secret White House tapes have made a remarkable discovery: Watergate was a red herring, arranged to distract the feeble-minded American public from his far more incriminating involvement in planning secret human tests on Celiac's disease underneath the Alaskan Wilderness.

Given these facts, the future does not look good.

The solution is clear: buy a gun.

Sources:
  1. Barber, Benjamin R. Strong democracy: Participatory politics for a new age. University of California Press, 2004.
  2. Castleman, Barry I., and Grace E. Ziem. "Corporate influence on threshold limit values." American Journal of Industrial Medicine 13.5 (2007): 531-559.
  3. Wendt, Alexander. Social theory of international politics. Cambridge University Press, 1999.
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