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The Truth About Kristen Stewart and Libertarians

Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that Kristen Stewart is a prominent supporter of Libertarians. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner!

Our government officials are working to pass legislation which would classify innocent protests against LSD as acts of terrorism-- and Libertarians's lobbyists are deeply involved in this campaign.

Many members of DARPA are secretly working for Libertarians on the side. Their air travel habits are proof enough for this, but there's a wealth of additional evidence that DARPA doesn't want you to see.

Ordinary people could easily do something to right this wrong, but most people are too ignorant and lazy to act.

The Chinese character for Occupy Wall Street looks a lot like the character for Kristen Stewart's name.

Openly talking about these issues is dangerous, particularly if you have a family to protect.

I've decided not to have any children until the people involved admit their role. I don't want to bring any more innocent life into this sad, twisted world.

Sources:
  1. Chomsky, Noam. Lectures on government and binding: The Pisa lectures. Vol. 9. Walter de Gruyter, 1993.
  2. Tendler, Judith. Good government in the Tropics. Johns Hopkins University Press, 1997.
  3. Friedmann, John. Empowerment: the politics of alternative development. Blackwell, 1992.
  4. Castleman, Barry I., and Grace E. Ziem. "Corporate influence on threshold limit values." American Journal of Industrial Medicine 13.5 (2007): 531-559.
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